A Fairy Tale From Heaven

"It's not about having an          ability to wait, but more about how I act while I'm waiting." -Jason Mraz

     Have you ever felt that the world is unfair for you? Everyone blame you with no reason or you are neglected by the one who you want to talk to. Those are the beautiful of life. Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad. Sometimes you win or sometimes you lose. That's life...

     In life, I actually don't know what I'm waiting for. Maybe I'm waiting for a great rich husband, a wealth, a happiness or something like that. It's all about "maybe". I just face the long road in front of me with my own way to go. I don't know what will happen over there and I don't care about that. I just keep walking 'till I get there. Though I also don't even know where "there" is.

     So, why do I write this blog? You guys know the answer. Yes, I don't even know why I'm writing this note.

     I always feel that I know nothing about almost everything. Sometimes I don't understand about myself and what I really want. The more I learn the less I know. The more I ask myself about what I am looking for and the more myself answers my questions, the less I know about that. Sometimes I really feel that there are two beings in my body. Me and myself. The gift of being a Geminian. But I thank God for making me as a Geminian. Being in this soul and in this mind, I always feel thirsty and hungry to ask about everything.

     Asking many many questions is how I act while I'm waiting for "something" that I don't know. That's the way to keep my mind's alive.

     This universe is my biggest inspiration. Universe gives many many much inspirations that I need. The starshine, the moonlight, sunshine, all the planets in all of galaxies, the astrology, this earth with all beings who live on, the people I met, the problems, and whatever in this universe is the inspirations.

     And now, I'm living here. In a capital region of Indonesia named Jakarta. I live alone here since almost 6 years ago. I didn't even know what I am looking for in this city. Being so far from my family is the hardest thing for me. When I go home from my campus or my office or many other places I go, sometimes I feel that I have no friends in this planet. Lay down my back on the bed with my lamp turning off, I feel that I am in the smallest place that no one knows about where I am. I feel sad or sometimes I cry, until the rain comes down from the sky. And I know that I am not alone. I have rain to escort me. For me, rain drop is the fairy tale from heaven. And the rainbow is the sweetest dream after all.

     My Granddad -that I never meet- tells a fairy tale from heaven to escorting me here.

      I never meet him. He passed away two years before I came to this remarkable world. His name is Truno Prawiro. Writing his name makes me feel so damn miss him, btw. There is no photograph of him, but I know that he looks like my father. My grandma told it to me.

     Sometimes, I feel that I really want to meet him. I also really want to meet my granny from my mother who passed away about 3 or 4 years ago. But I know it's not the right time. Universe still wants me to wait the-I-don't-know thing. And I have to do it. It's nature setting. My Granddad is escorting me where ever I am, where ever I go. I see it by listening the rain drop.

     I believe someday I'll get "there". I will get what I am looking for in my life all along. I will find my real fairy tale and I can laugh with the colors of rainbow.